mask Off

 Once I experienced the feelings of being looked at, not with love but rather with judgment, humiliation, embarrassment, and shame. And let me tell you, this feeling is more unsettling to live with than the thought of what others may be thinking about you.

 I was so engrossed in the sensation that I assumed everything and everyone had it in for me. There were times when I wished I could teleport, gain invisibility superpowers, and even disappear, or that I could travel back in time and be the center of attention, or so I thought.

They say it's difficult to recognize the truth when you only know what a lie is. Well, the embodiment of the truth. It attracts what you already are.

I know we refer to this as mental health issues. Yes, in some ways, I would have agreed with you when you told me I was just another Truman victim. Who cares? Even those with whom you may share an experience are indifferent.

Social anxiety was a cancer cell eating away at me slowly; you see, I manifested it both knowingly and unknowingly. My body was screaming at me for playing roles I didn't fit into and forcing myself into situations where I clearly didn't recognize myself, so after years of bending and pulling my spine, my muscles had had enough. By the way, no doctors told me this; it's simply my perspective on social anxiety

 I was certain that the problem was with them, the people around me, and the circle of friends I belonged to. I was sure I could magically hear their thoughts, which were mostly negative. Why? Why didn't I hear any positive thoughts?

Well, cancer does that—it converts you into a believer. Social anxiety is caused by wearing the mask for too long; you begin to play hide-and-seek with yourself. This is dangerous because the lack of clarity and uncertainty obscures the truth, and you have no idea where the enemy is, either within or without.

Wearing a mask is similar to putting on clothes, and since we change our clothes twice a day, I would hope that we also wash them as needed and hang them outside for the fresh air so that everyone can see. Nobody can see the mental mask we put on now. It fits so well that we wear it to bed like a child who isn't used to wearing Christmas clothes, fearing that if he takes them off, they'll probably be gone by tomorrow. This fear of losing our carefully crafted facades often keeps us trapped in a cycle of pretense, where vulnerability feels like a luxury we cannot afford. Yet, the truth is that shedding these masks might lead to deeper connections and a sense of liberation we didn’t know we were missing.

The mental mask is something we wear on a daily basis. Of course, you wouldn't want to lose it now; if you did, the entire world would have to see you for who you really are, and you don't want that, do you?

So we go on and on until you realize that the paper mask you were wearing has been upgraded to iron mask.

And your body is now rejecting the shield designed to protect you from the outside world.

symptoms of fear

Unworthiness

Low self-esteem.

Trust issues.

Abandonment issue

 Oh dear, the list has grown longer.

Awaken to the mask you put on for the show, because removing the iron mask requires assistance from those who want to see you, which hurts. Letting go of the mask hurts, and the symptoms of letting go include, well, aspects of social anxiety.