performance mask

**Performance Mask:**

For over five years, I served as a sales representative in various locations such as malls, airports, and shopping centers. Throughout this period, one key mindset prevailed: I had to convince myself that I was happy and that it was a great day to earn money.

From the moment I woke up until I went to bed, my thoughts were consumed by money and the next sale. While I considered myself a small-scale seller, I always aimed for consistency in my performance.

My morning routine was quite simple: I would wake up, take a shower, apply my makeup, dress in my best attire, and spritz on some lovely perfume. As I gazed in the mirror, I reminded myself that today was a prime opportunity for generating income. My daily goal was to achieve at least R3000.

If you’ve worked in sales, you understand that once you enter the store, it’s all about the hustle. Even while preparing for the day, you’re constantly on the lookout for potential customers.

My experience in sales has taught me to adapt my approach for different personalities and to communicate effectively with a wide range of people.

However, in this field, self-control, self-mastery, and purpose are hand tools. Without these resources, it would be simple to lose yourself because you wouldn't know when to remove the mask or when the performance was finished.

I recall going to various malls for a movie treat on the days when I had time to relax. I would catch myself observing people and looking for possible customers. Without realizing I had gone too far, I would halt a smile.

During that time in my life, I made a lot of mistakes and learned a lot. However, it was an incredible experience in the first place, and my life changed when I realized the cycle I had entered.

I was thinking that if I worked for a different person in the same company, things would be better. It is only now that I realize I was doing the same thing for multiple people.

Now I've been unemployed for almost three years, and in this season I have nothing but time—time to explore other emotions and put names to them, which is harder than working for anybody.